Milestone Moments

I have completely lost track of how many times I've asked myself or been asked "What do you want to do with your life?". This short, simple phrase has the ability to send me into a panicked frenzy. There is nothing more stressful than not knowing what you want to do with your future. 

All those years lying ahead of you, waiting to be given a purpose. All the countless, life-changing decisions waiting to be made. And the hardest part, having to try and decide what you will be doing for the next fifty years, when you're only nineteen going on twenty and still asking your parents for grocery money. 

I came into college with a plan. I knew what I wanted to study. I knew what I wanted to be. I knew what I needed to do to get there. Or so I thought...

My freshman year, I was a Biomedical Sciences major, ready to be a pre-med student and become a doctor. Then, the summer before my sophomore year, I did something I never thought I would do. I switched my major. This was definitely a milestone moment in my life. It altered how I thought about college, how I saw myself, how I envisioned my future. I lost confidence in my ability to succeed in my classes. I was too scared of failure to take the upper level difficult science classes required of pre-med, so I became an Allied Health major, and switched to pre-nursing. I was taking my version of the "easy way out".

Pre-nursing was definitely a less rigorous a course load than pre-med, not to mention, I no longer had to take the new 7 hour long MCAT exam. The plan was to do neonatal nursing... But that plan failed miserably, shortly after I spent a semester volunteering in the neonatal department at a local hospital. I was shocked and disappointed to find that I dreaded my weekly hospital volunteering. I found it monotonous, boring, and not at all what I thought it would be. So, I finally decided to quit the hospital, and started to take a long, hard look at my life, my goals, my choices, my future.

So many kids come into college not having the slightest idea of what they want to do with their lives. And I used to feel sorry for them...that is until I became one of them. Changing my major changed my outlook, readjusted my mindset. I gained a newfound understanding toward others, more empathy, less judgement, more humility, less pride. 

I began to realize that it was completely okay to come into college and not know exactly where you wanted to be in the next five years, or even the next semester. I realized that college is not the time you have to have it all figured out. It is the time to explore your innermost thoughts, desires, fears, ideas, lack of ideas. It is the time not only to lay down the groundwork for your future, but also to learn life lessons, build character, create lasting friendships with others, and blossom into who you want to be as an individual.

Individual. This seemingly ordinary word has a whole lot of meanings. Individual. Unique. Uncommon. Different. Special. One-of-a-kind. Original. I think that finding who you truly are and discovering what makes you stand out from the crowd, what you have to offer that others do not, realizing your individuality, is one of the most significant milestones of your journey through college and life. 

It took me over four semesters and two summermesters of college to finally figure out what I thought I wanted to do. And even today, I still sometimes hear the words What am I doing with my life resounding through my head. But so far I think I have reached a milestone moment with my most recent decision to journey down the pre-dental path. 

I am now currently an Allied Health major with a minor in Psychology and Biology, and I feel more at peace with my pre-dental decision than I ever was with my prior ones, thanks to my positive summer shadowing experiences so far. So for now, I am sticking with it, and I hope to learn and grow more each day as I work towards getting closer and closer to dental school each day. 

I want to end this post with a challenge. I challenge each of you to take a moment or two today, and think about what you want out of life, what qualities define you as a person, and who you want to become as an individual. We live in a world where assimilation and similarity is the norm, and being unique and different is oftentimes frowned upon and even scorned, so I want to leave you with a few words of encouragement that I hope will help you on the road to discovering your true self, and your own individuality.

Carpe Diem,
Marian

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are."

-Kurt Cobain

"In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different."

-Coco Chanel  

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The person who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The person who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever seen before." 
-Albert Einstein

"Do not be afraid to color outside the lines. Take risks and do not be afraid to fail. Know that when the world knocks you down, the best revenge is to get up and continue forging ahead. Do not be afraid to be different or to stand up for what's right. Never quiet your voice to make someone else feel comfortable. No one remembers the person that fits in. It's the one who stands out that people will not be able to forget."

-Nancy Arroyo Ruffin