The brain is like a muscle. The more we practice using it, the stronger it gets. Just like we train our bodies to be physically fit through exercise and nutrition, we need to train our brains to be strong too.
Positivity does not come easy. It only comes with practice, time, self-discipline, making the conscious decision to just say NO. This simple two letter word makes a world of a difference in how we act, how we are perceived by others, how our lives will turn out and most importantly, our attitude.
Just say no when negative thoughts come flooding through your mind.
Just say no when someone puts you in an uncomfortable position.
Just say no when you are about to make a rash, hasty decision.
This seems like it would be simple, but as the saying goes "The best things in life don't come easy, but it's worth the effort."
So I guess what I'm really trying to say is, when you feel those doubts creeping through your head, when you hear that voice of insecurity resounding in your ears, when you sense your gut telling you not to do something, just say no.
Like any good fighter though, you need to have ammunition if you're going to battle against Negativity and win.
In my life right now, my strongest defense is my positive thoughts. The power of positive thinking may be foreign to some of you who are used to letting Stress, Anxiety, and Depression hang out with you, day after day.
About a year ago, I was scrolling through my Facebook, when I came across a page called "Positive Outlooks". This page kind of saved me in a way. Every morning when I woke up, as I scrolled through my Newsfeed for a few brief moments, I would happen upon quote after quote of encouraging affirmations, constructive advice, positive food for thought. Pretty soon, I started sharing some of these quotes on my Facebook wall, and I was pleasantly surprised when I started getting feedback from several of my friends who told me that these quotes often made their day, or helped them out in some small way. Just this morning, I came across one myself...
"Free yourself from negative people. Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven, and like-minded. Relationships should help you, not hurt you."
This is some of the best advice I have heard all week. Why is this? Recently, I have noticed, especially over the summer, that when I am alone, I begin to ponder on all the friends that were fleeting, all the opportunities missed, all my past mistakes, all the people I used to be close to who walked out of my life just as fast as they walked in. It made me distressed. It made me depressed. It made me morose. It made me miserable. It was just another open invitation for Stress and Anxiety to come pay me a visit.
Something needed to change, and this something was my maladaptive thinking, my attitude toward life. These negative thoughts would eat away at me day after day, and make me wonder if it was me that was the problem. And in a way, the answer was yes. My thinking was my problem.
Our thoughts can either be our best friends, or or worst enemies. They can either build us up or break us down. They can either help us run the race of life, or place insurmountable roadblocks in our path.
So I want to challenge each of you, to start thinking one positive thought per day, and see what difference it makes in your life, your mood, your mindset, your number of visits from Stress and Anxiety. Whether it be saying a silent affirmation to yourself when you wake up in the morning, posting an encouraging sticky note on your bathroom mirror, reading reassuring quotes on Facebook pages like "Positive Outlooks", it will help train your brain to work towards boosting your happiness.
Don't get me wrong, you will still have some of those days when you feel down. After all, we're only human. But, I have definitely noticed that my attitude adjustment has made a significant improvement in my life personally, and a noticeable decrease in my "Debby Downer" days. The difference is all in how you think, and whether or not you choose to embark down the path to positivity....
So until next time, I leave you with a little food for thought about attitude and relations with others from relationship coach Rinatta Paries.
Carpe Diem,
Marian
" The truth is that happiness is an attitude.
We always seem to want those things we don't have. Moreover, we are often convinced that if we had those things we want so badly, we would finally be happy.
The truth is that happiness is an attitude. It's not something created by outside circumstances, but instead is completely within your control. This means that you can be happy regardless of whether you are in a relationship or not. You can be happy regardless of whether your relationship is working out or not. If fact, if you cultivate happiness, your relationship will improve.
You will not get that deep sense of satisfaction and happiness you crave just by getting or improving a relationship. Nothing will give you that sense of happiness, unless you cultivate it consciously.
Is the glass half empty or half full? Life and relationships work better when the glass is half full. Below are some simple yet specific steps you can take to cultivate happiness and see the glass half full, regardless of your relationship status.
1. Be grateful
Create a sense of gratitude for what you have, for what is working, for what is wonderful and sweet in your life. A morning or evening gratitude list, written each day, can do wonders for helping you feel grateful.
1. Be grateful
Create a sense of gratitude for what you have, for what is working, for what is wonderful and sweet in your life. A morning or evening gratitude list, written each day, can do wonders for helping you feel grateful.
2. Take care of yourself
Identify the small things in life that make you feel good, and do one daily. A short walk, a few minutes of writing in your journal, a short meditation, watching the sunset. Whatever reminds you that you are a human being and not a human doing will improve your outlook on life.
Identify the small things in life that make you feel good, and do one daily. A short walk, a few minutes of writing in your journal, a short meditation, watching the sunset. Whatever reminds you that you are a human being and not a human doing will improve your outlook on life.
3. Be creative
Creativity and self-expression generate happiness. Schedule some creative time each day, even if it's just a few minutes of writing, painting, sculpting, etc.
Creativity and self-expression generate happiness. Schedule some creative time each day, even if it's just a few minutes of writing, painting, sculpting, etc.
4. Move
Moving our bodies generates feel-good hormones called endorphins. Move a little every day to stay happy.
Moving our bodies generates feel-good hormones called endorphins. Move a little every day to stay happy.
5. Get someone to take care of you
It feels good to be taken care of, even in small ways. Get a massage, a manicure, someone to carry your groceries, launder your clothes, or fix something for you.
It feels good to be taken care of, even in small ways. Get a massage, a manicure, someone to carry your groceries, launder your clothes, or fix something for you.
6. Read inspirational material
It helps to be reminded of positive thoughts and positive attitudes. Get a small book of positive, inspirational thoughts and keep it by your desk. Read one or two thoughts each day.
It helps to be reminded of positive thoughts and positive attitudes. Get a small book of positive, inspirational thoughts and keep it by your desk. Read one or two thoughts each day.
7. Contribute
Stand up for something that matters to you. Contributing, making a difference feels good. It boosts your self-esteem, your gratitude and feeling of well being.
Stand up for something that matters to you. Contributing, making a difference feels good. It boosts your self-esteem, your gratitude and feeling of well being.
8. Get some time
I know this one is hard. But if you are determined, you can find some time every day to just be. Make sure you do this - it will make a big difference in your ability to be happy.
I know this one is hard. But if you are determined, you can find some time every day to just be. Make sure you do this - it will make a big difference in your ability to be happy.
9. Be in nature
Nature rejuvenates and restores the human spirit. Whether your brand of nature is mountains or the ocean, give yourself the gift of visiting it frequently.
Nature rejuvenates and restores the human spirit. Whether your brand of nature is mountains or the ocean, give yourself the gift of visiting it frequently.
10. Be happy
No matter how many wonderful things you do to create a positive, happy, satisfied life, you could still end up unhappy. Ultimately, happiness, gratitude, a feeling of satisfaction is a choice. People often do not choose happiness. Many feel refusing to be happy will somehow get them what whey want, like a child holding his breath. Holding your breath will not get your what you want. It is happiness that attracts."
Rinatta Paries^
www.positivethoughtsandmore.com/2014/08/the-truth-is-that-happiness-is-an-attitude.html
No matter how many wonderful things you do to create a positive, happy, satisfied life, you could still end up unhappy. Ultimately, happiness, gratitude, a feeling of satisfaction is a choice. People often do not choose happiness. Many feel refusing to be happy will somehow get them what whey want, like a child holding his breath. Holding your breath will not get your what you want. It is happiness that attracts."
Rinatta Paries^
www.positivethoughtsandmore.com/2014/08/the-truth-is-that-happiness-is-an-attitude.html
An interesting and very appealing sentiment to wish for constant positive thoughts, using them to overwhelm negativity. But here lies a question of mine for your personal consideration: How precisely can we define a "Negative" thought? As far as I'm concerned, figuring out exactly what my thoughts on a situation are can be just as difficult as keeping those thoughts positive. Perhaps that's simply the view of someone who has a jumbled and disorderly mind though. Either way, using that philosophy to help and encourage others is a commendable and very kind deed. You little miss Mary, have always had the biggest heart of anyone I have ever had the pleasure of knowing :)
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