Forgiving Freedom

Sometimes letting go means saying sorry, even if you're not the one in the wrong. Even if the other person is incapable of comprehending how or what they did to wrong you. When someone hurts you deeply, your first reaction is to get angry and want to hurt them back, but the truth is, this only ends up hurting you in the end. 

In order to truly move on and get rid of the bitterness boiling over inside you, it is necessary to forgive and forget. It may take time, but once you learn to forgive those who have wronged you, you're free. And the freedom that comes when you finally let go of Anger, Resentment, Hurt, Disappointment, and Pain, is the best feeling in the world. It is a sweet release that allows you to start living again.

When you forgive, you're free to live your life without carrying the baggage of the past. Free to be happy again. Free to take on the world. Free to do what you need to do to get by. Free to move on. Free to find love again. Free to forget the bitter and remember the sweet. Free to make better choices. Free to forge new memories. Free to learn from your mistakes and not repeat them. Because it's never too late to let go and start writing a new chapter in the book of your life. 

No matter how badly you think you screwed up, or how insurmountable your problems may seem, we are not defined by our past mistakes. It's never too late to change your life. It's never too late to give and receive the gift of forgiveness. 

When you walk around with the pang of guilt, the pain of neglect, or the brokenness of countless disappointments, these negative feelings churn inside, making you feel sick to your very core. Eventually, if you succumb to these feelings, they can slowly begin to pull you under, deeper into the sinking sand. If you don't have a true friend by your side to come and save you, it is so easy to silently slip away before you know it.

So don't let your life get past that point of no return. Take charge of your feelings, your emotions, your mindset, before it's too late. Change the way you look at life. Start finding joy in the little things life has to offer. A clear blue sky, a rainy day, a breath of fresh air, a glass of clean water, a butterfly that flits by, a simple smile, sounds of laughter, the freedom to speak your mind, the privilege of receiving an education. 

People have become so self-absorbed, self-centered, egocentric, wrapped in themselves, they often take their life forgranted along with everything and everyone in it. If we all took a moment to appreciate others and build eachother up, instead of judging and breaking eachother down, the world would be a much brighter place. We could start to slowly eradicate some of the darkness so prevalent today. 

I want to end this post, by challenging each of you to compliment at least one person every day this week, because oftentimes, what people really need is a simple affirmation, a kind word, a sincere smile, to know that they're not invisible. So I challenge you to be that person for someone else today. Until next time...

Carpe Diem,
Marian Rosado 



*All photos in blog were taken from Google Images

Daily Decisions

As much as I would like, things in my life are almost never black and white. When I think I am sure of something, or I know what I need to do, life throws me a giant gray curveball.

Making choices has to be one of the most complicated things for me right now. Each and every decision comes with its own repercussions, sometimes good and sometimes bad. So, I find myself ever reflecting on my summer, my life, and the choices I have been making as of late.

It doesn't help either when different people give you polar opposite advice about the same situation, creating an even wider gap between the sides of black and white. So I stay in the gray, perhaps out of fear of making the wrong decision, or perhaps because when I'm in the middle, at least I still have places to go, and room to change my mind. 

Sometimes the gray isn't necessarily the best place to be, though. This middle zone can be detrimental if one resides there too long, for it dulls one's capability of making firm decisions, and blurs the lines between black and white, wrong and right. 

Everyone has their own opinion about the situations life throws us into, and I have begun to figure out that my own opinion should be the only one that matters. I need to stand firm and take that leap out of the middle zone, the comfort zone, the place where I don't have to think too hard or make the tough calls. I need to pick a side, black or white, and stop living in the shady shadows. 

Now, knowing that I need to do this and actually doing it are two completely different things. It all comes down to my daily decisions, the little things I choose to do everyday. Study or sleep? Homework or Netflix? Fast food or healthy meal? Hang out with friends or catch up on schoolwork? Allow others' actions to affect my mood, or rise above it and keep my focus? Let negative thoughts and emotions in, or persevere with positivity? Walk away from a dead-end situation, or linger longer because it's comfortable at the time? Live for long-term satisfaction, or for temporary gratification? 

Lately, I've been lacking greatly in the motivation and will-power department, which I am sure some of you can relate to. Oftentimes, we lose sight of the long-term goal, what is really best for us, the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. When it comes to that fork in the road to success, we need to make a choice, to do what is right for us, and our future. We need to let go of our fears and take the the path less traveled, the winding, twisting, rocky road, even though the easy way, the wide, green, grassy, road may seem so much more appealing. 

So many of us live for the moment and forget about the future. This may feel good at the time, but that feeling doesn't last. If you want to find true happiness, you need to train yourself to live your life in a way that pushes you to unlock your full potential. 
 Don't settle for less when you know you are capable of more. Don't shortchange yourself out of fear of the unknown. Don't fall into the trap that you can't be happy unless you have someone else to complete you. YOU alone are in control of your life, your happiness, your daily decisions. 

 

I find myself all too often, making my decisions based on what will make others happy, and putting my own needs on hold. This is something I have been struggling with for a while now, and I am beginning to realize that in order to achieve true happiness, I need to do what is best for me. I need to not rely on others to make me happy, and find joy from within myself. Only then can true happiness be obtained. 

Just Another Life Lesson:

#1: Something I have come to realize over the last few months, is that one of the only ways to avoid disappointment, is to stop expecting so much from people. Then, when someone does follow through with that they said they would, you can enjoy it all the more.

 

#2: Never make assumptions about what others are thinking, without confronting them first. Talking to others instead of that person directly only causes miscommunication and conflict when there may not have been any in the first place.

 

So until next time, I want to challenge you to think about some of the daily decisions you make that cause you to be unhappy, and some ways you can start relying on yourself for your happiness instead of looking for it in others. 

Carpe Diem,

Marian  

Tempestuous Times

Emotions have a way of affecting how we think, feel, act, and live. They can empower us or break us down. Bring us great confusion or unexpected clarity. Instill in us a sense of conflict or a moment of peace. 

As of late, my emotions have been quite a bit more uncontrollable than usual. My mood swings have gotten more frequent, and more severe. It feels like my mind is trying to tell my body something, sending out some secret message, but I don't know what it says. 

My visits from Stress and Anxiety have made a full blown comeback, as a result, leaving me down and dejected. I wish I could pinpoint the exact cause of these feelings, but in reality, I'm too busy with my crazy summer to actually take the time to sit down and analyze my feelings, my fears, my thoughts, my desires. Or maybe it is that, like some of you I'm sure, we are afraid to explore our true emotions and find out what it is that we really desire, deep down inside. 

It is a scary thing, when you come to realize that what you want may not necessarily be the best thing for you. This is especially so, if what we want could even end up hurting us in the end. But, I believe it is part of our human nature to follow our heart's desires, even when those desires are sometimes not the best idea. But life has a way of teaching us the things we need to learn in the end, even if sometimes those lessons may come at a high price. Everyone wants someone to catch us when we fall, but the sad truth is, we need to learn to pick ourselves up off the ground, because many times, NO one else will.

Life Lesson #1:
Dont' put your trust in other people. The only person you can truly trust 100% is yourself. I have learned time and time again that others will let you down and disappoint you, even if they seem to care. 

Life Lesson #2:
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Don't lead people on. Don't let them believe something that isn't true, no matter what the circumstances may be.

Life Lesson #3:
If people don't make time for you, they're not worth your time. If someone truly wants you to be a part of their life, they will find the time to spend with you. 

Life Lesson #4:
Don't take everything so seriously. Sometimes, we need to just let loose and have fun. Step out of our comfort zones and try something new. Stop worrying about how others will perceive you or what they will think of you.

Life Lesson #5:
The only opinion that truly matters is your own. At the end of the day, you should only pay attention to if YOU are okay with your actions, how you live, and what you think of yourself. Do not listen to the negative criticisms of others, because they will only torment you and affect your self-efficacy and crush your spirits.

Life Lesson #6:
Stop overthinking, overcompensating, overanalyzing, and replaying every word, action, situation, text message, and conversation you have with others. It will only make you miserable and can sometimes create a problem that wasn't even there.

Life Lesson #7:
The most beautiful thing you can wear is a smile. Even if you don't feel like smiling on the inside, if you smile on the outside, it can better your mood, and brighten not only your day, but that of those around you as well.

Life Lesson #8:
Confidence is KEY. Believing in yourself helps boost self-esteem, and will attract others to you. People flock to those who are confident and capable individuals, so stop doubting yourself, and start envisioning the best version of you.

Life Lesson #9:
Sometimes you need to take a moment and JUST breathe. Step back from a tense situation. Stop and think about what you are going to say before you speak. Sometimes this means sleeping on a situation and reassessing it afresh in the morning. A clear head is always better than a heated one. Things spoken in anger often lead to to greatest regrets.

Life Lesson #10:
Stop living in the past, because it will only cause you to sabotage your future. If you want things to be different, don't compare them to the past. Learn to let go and let good things happen. Past mistakes and painful memories make you stronger only if you remember the lessons you learned and let go of the negative feelings. 

Life Lesson #11:
Life is short, so forgive and forget. Don't live with regret.

These are just a few of the numerous lessons I have learned throughout my life. There are always many more to be learned everyday, but I just wanted to share a few of them with you. Until next time, here is a word of advice...

Carpe Diem,
Marian

Milestone Moments

I have completely lost track of how many times I've asked myself or been asked "What do you want to do with your life?". This short, simple phrase has the ability to send me into a panicked frenzy. There is nothing more stressful than not knowing what you want to do with your future. 

All those years lying ahead of you, waiting to be given a purpose. All the countless, life-changing decisions waiting to be made. And the hardest part, having to try and decide what you will be doing for the next fifty years, when you're only nineteen going on twenty and still asking your parents for grocery money. 

I came into college with a plan. I knew what I wanted to study. I knew what I wanted to be. I knew what I needed to do to get there. Or so I thought...

My freshman year, I was a Biomedical Sciences major, ready to be a pre-med student and become a doctor. Then, the summer before my sophomore year, I did something I never thought I would do. I switched my major. This was definitely a milestone moment in my life. It altered how I thought about college, how I saw myself, how I envisioned my future. I lost confidence in my ability to succeed in my classes. I was too scared of failure to take the upper level difficult science classes required of pre-med, so I became an Allied Health major, and switched to pre-nursing. I was taking my version of the "easy way out".

Pre-nursing was definitely a less rigorous a course load than pre-med, not to mention, I no longer had to take the new 7 hour long MCAT exam. The plan was to do neonatal nursing... But that plan failed miserably, shortly after I spent a semester volunteering in the neonatal department at a local hospital. I was shocked and disappointed to find that I dreaded my weekly hospital volunteering. I found it monotonous, boring, and not at all what I thought it would be. So, I finally decided to quit the hospital, and started to take a long, hard look at my life, my goals, my choices, my future.

So many kids come into college not having the slightest idea of what they want to do with their lives. And I used to feel sorry for them...that is until I became one of them. Changing my major changed my outlook, readjusted my mindset. I gained a newfound understanding toward others, more empathy, less judgement, more humility, less pride. 

I began to realize that it was completely okay to come into college and not know exactly where you wanted to be in the next five years, or even the next semester. I realized that college is not the time you have to have it all figured out. It is the time to explore your innermost thoughts, desires, fears, ideas, lack of ideas. It is the time not only to lay down the groundwork for your future, but also to learn life lessons, build character, create lasting friendships with others, and blossom into who you want to be as an individual.

Individual. This seemingly ordinary word has a whole lot of meanings. Individual. Unique. Uncommon. Different. Special. One-of-a-kind. Original. I think that finding who you truly are and discovering what makes you stand out from the crowd, what you have to offer that others do not, realizing your individuality, is one of the most significant milestones of your journey through college and life. 

It took me over four semesters and two summermesters of college to finally figure out what I thought I wanted to do. And even today, I still sometimes hear the words What am I doing with my life resounding through my head. But so far I think I have reached a milestone moment with my most recent decision to journey down the pre-dental path. 

I am now currently an Allied Health major with a minor in Psychology and Biology, and I feel more at peace with my pre-dental decision than I ever was with my prior ones, thanks to my positive summer shadowing experiences so far. So for now, I am sticking with it, and I hope to learn and grow more each day as I work towards getting closer and closer to dental school each day. 

I want to end this post with a challenge. I challenge each of you to take a moment or two today, and think about what you want out of life, what qualities define you as a person, and who you want to become as an individual. We live in a world where assimilation and similarity is the norm, and being unique and different is oftentimes frowned upon and even scorned, so I want to leave you with a few words of encouragement that I hope will help you on the road to discovering your true self, and your own individuality.

Carpe Diem,
Marian

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are."

-Kurt Cobain

"In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different."

-Coco Chanel  

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The person who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The person who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever seen before." 
-Albert Einstein

"Do not be afraid to color outside the lines. Take risks and do not be afraid to fail. Know that when the world knocks you down, the best revenge is to get up and continue forging ahead. Do not be afraid to be different or to stand up for what's right. Never quiet your voice to make someone else feel comfortable. No one remembers the person that fits in. It's the one who stands out that people will not be able to forget."

-Nancy Arroyo Ruffin

Educational Endeavours

"The value of education is to make yourself do what has to be done whether you like it or not."

These words by Thomas Huxley, were what got me through my four years of high school. I posted this quote on a neon yellow index card and stuck it to my computer screen several years ago, and it somehow helped me get by. The constant battle between productivity and procrastination has always been one of my biggest struggles, and still is today, which is something I imagine quite a few of you can relate to.

Like so many of our generation, I find myself wasting away countless hours everyday browsing the web, watching Netflix, napping excessively, surfing social media, watching youtube, or simply doing nothing. 

So how do you surpass this wave of laziness, and make it to the untapped potential on the other side?

I read an article today called "The Psychology of Laziness", so here is an excerpt I believe was especially thought-provoking, for those of you who are interested.

                        Psychological Theories of Laziness (by M.D. Neel Burton)
"In most cases, it is deemed painful to expend effort on long-term goals that do not provide immediate gratification. For a person to embark on a project, he has to value the return on his labour more than his loss of comfort. The problem is that he is disinclined to trust in a return that is both distant and uncertain. Because self-confident people are more apt to trust in the success and pay-off of their undertakings (and may even overestimate their likely returns), they are much more likely to overcome their natural laziness.

People are also poor calculators. Tonight they may eat and drink indiscriminately, without factoring in the longer-term consequences for their health and appearance, or even tomorrow morning's hangover. The ancient philosopher Epicurus famously argued that pleasure is the highest good. But he cautioned that not everything that is pleasurable should be pursued, and not everything that is painful should be avoided. Instead, a kind of hedonistic calculus should be applied to determine which things are most likely to result in the greatest pleasure over time, and it is above all this hedonistic calculus that people are unable to handle.

Many lazy people are not intrinsically lazy, but are lazy because they have not found what they want to do, or because, for one reason or another, they are not doing it. To make matters worse, the job that pays their bills may have become so abstract and specialized that they can no longer fully grasp its purpose or product, and, by extension, their part in bettering other peoples' lives. A builder can look upon the houses that he has built, and a doctor can take pride and satisfaction in the restored health and gratitude of his patients, but an assistant deputy financial controller in a large corporation cannot be at all certain of the effect of his labour—and so why bother?

Other factors that can lead to laziness are fear and hopelessness. Some people fear success, or do not have sufficient self-esteem to feel comfortable with success, and laziness is one way in which they can sabotage themself. Shakespeare conveys this idea much more eloquently and succinctly in Antony and Cleopatra: 'Fortune knows we scorn her most when most she offers blows.' Conversely, some people fear failure, and laziness is preferable to failure because it is at one remove. "It's not that I failed," they tell themselves, "it's that I never tried."

Other people are lazy because they see their situation as being so hopeless that they cannot even begin to think through it, let alone address it. Because these people do not have the ability to think through and address their situation, it could be argued that they are not truly lazy, and, to some extent, the same could be said of all lazy people. In other words, the very concept of laziness presupposes the ability to choose not to be lazy, that is, presupposes the existence of free will. 

The Solution: I could have ended this article with a self-help pep talk or the top-10 tips to overcome laziness, but, in the longer term, the only way to overcome laziness is to profoundly understand its nature and particular causes: to think, think, and think, and, over the years, slowly find a better way of living."

 https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201410/the-psychology-laziness

With my junior year of college fast approaching, it is things like these that I think about. As a pre-dental student, junior year is one of the most crucial of my undergrad degree. Just a few of the things I need to do include starting my dental school file, studying for my DAT test, making sure my resume is well-rounded, continuing to do well in my classes as they get harder, and balancing my job, studying, and other extracurricular activities. The stark realization that I have run out of time to waste, hit me like a ton of bricks. If I don't kick into gear, start working harder, procrastinating less, studying more, and striving toward bigger goals NOW, soon it will be too late. 

But sometimes, even the thought of being jobless, helpless, and a failure, are not enough to spark my inner motivation and drive me toward success. 

Procrastination vs. Productivity: Round 1

Shadowing dentists is something I have been putting off since last semester. I convinced myself that I would be much too busy to shadow during the Spring, because I would be taking harder classes like organic chemistry, so I declined to submit my shadowing application to Pre-Dental Society at the start of the semester. I am beginning to think that this may just have been an excuse or simply fear of the unknown. 

Round 1 goes to Procrastination.

Round 2: 

I promised myself profusely at the end of Spring semester, that this summer I would at least put in the effort to try and find a place to shadow. It took me a few weeks, but one afternoon, I finally picked up the phone and made some calls. I left my information with a few local dentist offices, and then I waited. A few days later, one office returned my call. They were more than happy to let me come in and shadow, and even allowed me to work it in around my busy schedule. So I went to Walmart, bought my scrubs, and got a notebook to write my experiences in. My first day will be tomorrow.

Round 2 goes to Productivity.

Round 3:

Part of me is looking forward to the shadowing experience, and the opportunity to learn first-hand what a day in the life of an actual dentist is. The other half of me is dreading the day, and constantly running through every possible way in which things could go wrong. What if I end up hating dentistry? It's too late in my degree plan to switch tracks again. What if the dentist thinks I'm annoying or a nuisance? It's too late to find another office to shadow in. What if my scrubs look stupid? It's too late to go look for more by tomorrow. What if my summer classes, DAT prep, work, studying, and shadowing are too much to handle all at once? If I burn out and experience a mental breakdown, who's gonna be around to pick up the pieces...

So yet again, my all too familiar friends make another appearance...

Round 3 goes to Stress and Anxiety.

The mind is a complex place full of our most frequent fears, our darkest secrets, our strongest longings, our past regrets, our deepest desires. I think Neel Burton was on to something when he said "the only way to overcome laziness is to profoundly understand its nature and particular causes: to think, think, and think, and, slowly find a better way of living."
We must train our minds to think in our favor, to ignore the fears, doubts, and hesitations, and instead listen to the affirmations, encouragement, and positivity life has to offer us if we only embrace it. So until next time, I leave you with these quotes, and a challenge to take a moment today to stop and truly analyze why you are lazy, what makes you procrastinate, and what you're really afraid of in life.

“You will find there are times you must grasp your life with both hands and forcefully steer it in a new direction and then strain to hold your course until the storms of fear, weakness, and doubt abate.” 

― Richelle E. Goodrich

“Life’s challenges are inevitable. We have to prepare mentally by renewing our mind with inspiration daily to be able to cope when the situation arise.” 

― Lailah Gifty

Carpe Diem,
Marian

Attitude Adjustment

Cognition. What some people like to call thinking, plays a larger role in our mood than many people realize. Your first few thoughts in the morning can change your entire day for better or for worse. 

The brain is like a muscle. The more we practice using it, the stronger it gets. Just like we train our bodies to be physically fit through exercise and nutrition, we need to train our brains to be strong too. 

Positivity does not come easy. It only comes with practice, time, self-discipline, making the conscious decision to just say NO. This simple two letter word makes a world of a difference in how we act, how we are perceived by others, how our lives will turn out and most importantly, our attitude. 

Just say no when negative thoughts come flooding through your mind.

Just say no when someone puts you in an uncomfortable position.

Just say no when you are about to make a rash, hasty decision.

This seems like it would be simple, but as the saying goes "The best things in life don't come easy, but it's worth the effort." 

So I guess what I'm really trying to say is, when you feel those doubts creeping through your head, when you hear that voice of insecurity resounding in your ears, when you sense your gut telling you not to do something, just say no.

Like any good fighter though, you need to have ammunition if you're going to battle against Negativity and win.

In my life right now, my strongest defense is my positive thoughts. The power of positive thinking may be foreign to some of you who are used to letting Stress, Anxiety, and Depression hang out with you, day after day.

About a year ago, I was scrolling through my Facebook, when I came across a page called "Positive Outlooks". This page kind of saved me in a way. Every morning when I woke up, as I scrolled through my Newsfeed for a few brief moments, I would happen upon quote after quote of encouraging affirmations, constructive advice, positive food for thought. Pretty soon, I started sharing some of these quotes on my Facebook wall, and I was pleasantly surprised when I started getting feedback from several of my friends who told me that these quotes often made their day, or helped them out in some small way. Just this morning, I came across one myself...

"Free yourself from negative people. Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven, and like-minded. Relationships should help you, not hurt you." 

This is some of the best advice I have heard all week. Why is this? Recently, I have noticed, especially over the summer, that when I am alone, I begin to ponder on all the friends that were fleeting, all the opportunities missed, all my past mistakes, all the people I used to be close to who walked out of my life just as fast as they walked in. It made me distressed. It made me depressed. It made me morose. It made me miserable. It was just another open invitation for Stress and Anxiety to come pay me a visit.

Something needed to change, and this something was my maladaptive thinking, my attitude toward life. These negative thoughts would eat away at me day after day, and make me wonder if it was me that was the problem. And in a way, the answer was yes. My thinking was my problem.

Our thoughts can either be our best friends, or or worst enemies. They can either build us up or break us down. They can either help us run the race of life, or place insurmountable roadblocks in our path.

So I want to challenge each of you, to start thinking one positive thought per day, and see what difference it makes in your life, your mood, your mindset, your number of visits from Stress and Anxiety. Whether it be saying a silent affirmation to yourself when you wake up in the morning, posting an encouraging sticky note on your bathroom mirror, reading reassuring quotes on Facebook pages like "Positive Outlooks", it will help train your brain to work towards boosting your happiness. 

Don't get me wrong, you will still have some of those days when you feel down. After all, we're only human. But, I have definitely noticed that my attitude adjustment has made a significant improvement in my life personally, and a noticeable decrease in my "Debby Downer" days. The difference is all in how you think, and whether or not you choose to embark down the path to positivity.... 

So until next time, I leave you with a little food for thought about attitude and relations with others from relationship coach Rinatta Paries.

Carpe Diem,

Marian

" The truth is that happiness is an attitude. 

We always seem to want those things we don't have. Moreover, we are often convinced that if we had those things we want so badly, we would finally be happy.

The truth is that happiness is an attitude. It's not something created by outside circumstances, but instead is completely within your control.  This means that you can be happy regardless of whether you are in a relationship or not.  You can be happy regardless of whether your relationship is working out or not.  If fact, if you cultivate happiness, your relationship will improve.

You will not get that deep sense of satisfaction and happiness you crave just by getting or improving a relationship.  Nothing will give you that sense of happiness, unless you cultivate it consciously.

Is the glass half empty or half full?  Life and relationships work better when the glass is half full.  Below are some simple yet specific steps you can take to cultivate happiness and see the glass half full, regardless of your relationship status.

1. Be grateful
Create a sense of gratitude for what you have, for what is working, for what is wonderful and sweet in your life.  A morning or evening gratitude list, written each day, can do wonders for helping you feel grateful.

2. Take care of yourself
Identify the small things in life that make you feel good, and do one daily.  A short walk, a few minutes of writing in your journal, a short meditation, watching the sunset.  Whatever reminds you that you are a human being and not a human doing will improve your outlook on life.

3. Be creative
Creativity and self-expression generate happiness.  Schedule some creative time each day, even if it's just a few minutes of writing, painting, sculpting, etc.

4. Move
Moving our bodies generates feel-good hormones called endorphins.  Move a little every day to stay happy.

5. Get someone to take care of you
It feels good to be taken care of, even in small ways.  Get a massage, a manicure, someone to carry your groceries, launder your clothes, or fix something for you.

6. Read inspirational material
It helps to be reminded of positive thoughts and positive attitudes.  Get a small book of positive, inspirational thoughts and keep it by your desk.  Read one or two thoughts each day.

7. Contribute
Stand up for something that matters to you.  Contributing, making a difference feels good.  It boosts your self-esteem, your gratitude and feeling of well being.

8. Get some time
I know this one is hard. But if you are determined, you can find some time every day to just be.  Make sure you do this - it will make a big difference in your ability to be happy.

9. Be in nature
Nature rejuvenates and restores the human spirit.  Whether your brand of nature is mountains or the ocean, give yourself the gift of visiting it frequently.

10. Be happy
No matter how many wonderful things you do to create a positive, happy, satisfied life, you could still end up unhappy.  Ultimately, happiness, gratitude, a feeling of satisfaction is a choice.  People often do not choose happiness.  Many feel refusing to be happy will somehow get them what whey want, like a child holding his breath.  Holding your breath will not get your what you want.  It is happiness that attracts."

Rinatta Paries^
www.positivethoughtsandmore.com/2014/08/the-truth-is-that-happiness-is-an-attitude.html  

Bedtime Blues

When it comes to getting up in the morning... The piercing sound of my alarm causes my heart to skip a beat. The sun blazing through the blinds disorients me for a brief minute. The snooze button just seems so tempting. But then, the flood of thoughts begins to rush through my brain.

Exactly how many minutes can I lie here before I'll be late for class? Or do I have work this morning? Am I going to miss the bus to campus? Did I remember to do all my homework last night? It's not daylight savings yet is it? 

And just like that, I get a big good morning from Anxiety. I lie in bed staring at the ceiling for a few more moments, before I finally jump out of my bed in a panic. And so the day begins.

I always wonder what gets other people up in the mornings, what their motivation is to get through the day. Sometimes I just want to sleep the day away. Other times, I get a spontaneous burst of energy to do anything everything. But, consistency is greatly lacking in my life as of late. 

What to do today... I asked myself this everyday for the last week, due to the fact that my summer classes hadn't started yet. One day may not seem like a very long time, but when there's no one in town, no homework to be done, and an empty apartment with no roommate before me, time seems to stand still.

Napping and Netflix seemed to be the most popular options lately, so my days drifted by one by one, and I felt like I was in some kind of cloudy haze. Now I generally don't like to waste time, and I feel like television and sleep does just that, but the struggle between sleeping or being productive is something I constantly battle with as a student.

Sleep. Study. Social Life. These are really the only major options once you enter the world of college. The catch though, is you can only pick two. This sounds like it would make life simpler, but in fact, it does the opposite. 

My mood changes like the weather. I feel like I am constantly riding a roller coaster of emotions, which I'm sure is something many others can attest to. I never know what mood tomorrow will bring. Will I feel like I can conquer the world and no one can stop me, or will the walk to the bathroom seem like I'm taking on Mt. Everest?

Sometimes, I just want to sleep through the day. Other times, I can't wait to get my day started. Sometimes, I just want to be alone in my apartment. Other times, I simply can't stand the silence. Sometimes, I just want to study for hours. Other times, the sight of a book makes me panic.

Everyone always says that college will be the best four years of your life, but what they don't tell you, is that sometimes it can feel like the worst. You're on your own for the first time. You don't have parents watching your every move and micromanaging your every decision. You can do what you want when you want, or not do it at all. But, with this freedom, comes the burden of responsibility. 

Responsibility. What does it really mean anyway? Well, Merriam-Webster says it's the quality or state of being reliable, trustworthy; moral, legal, or mental accountability. 
Sounds kinda intimidating to me...

Being independent and responsible sounded exciting at first, but as the weeks turned into months and the months turned into years, I started to realize just how hard it truly is. There are bills to be paid, money that needs to be made, jobs to be hunted for, chores to be done. And the most daunting part, a lot of the time, you're all on your own.  

Sure in reality my parents and friends are a phone call away if I need them. But in the summertime, when everyone goes home, my calls become less frequent and my friends become more distant.

Dealing with the summertime sensation of loneliness that comes with living on my own, is something I think I'll leave for my next post. But just to give a preview, it all comes down to how you think. 

So I'm going to leave you with this quote. Until next time...

"The best way to be happy with someone is to learn to be happy alone. That way the company will be a matter of choice, and not false necessity."

Carpe Diem,
Marian

Summer Stresses

Sometimes in life, things just get a little too crazy. Your mind feels like it's going 200 mph in every direction. Your heart feels like it's beating out of your chest. You feel a knot in your stomach and a lump in your throat. These are just a few of the symptoms induced by my little friend Stress. Don't get me wrong, sometimes Stress helps me out. He pushes me to get projects done right before deadline, and finish homework the night before it's due, since let's be real, what student doesn't procrastinate? But, here's the thing. Stress and I have a love-hate relationship. And lately it's been more on the hate side. 

Being a college student doesn't make it any easier, so I needed to find an outlet to express my feelings, which is why I started this blog I guess. I just finished my sophomore year of undergrad, and ordinarily, summer is the time to kick back, relax, and recuperate before the start of another grueling college semester.

Unfortunately, I lack the luxury of a vacation. After getting only one week off from work to go home and visit my friends and family, I'm back in college town, back to work, back to school, back to Stress. My mini vacation was much needed but much short-lived, and now I need to figure out how I am going to get through the rest of this hectic summer.

First things first, I am a planner. I like to write down every detail of my day in my agenda, make endless to-do lists, plan out the next few years of my life, my goals, my classes, what to do when, when to take what. When I get it all down on paper, it somehow feels less intimidating, more manageable. I can sit back and breathe. A little. 

Over the last few weeks, I have come to the realization that I struggle with Stress and Anxiety. Alone, I can somehow manage one or the other, but when they both come at me together, is when things start to get a little trickier. 

I decided to start sharing some of my Adventures with Anxiety and my Skirmishes with Stress over the course of this summer, in the hopes that I can somehow help others who are dealing with these two crazies, or at least provide you with something to do once you're bored of opening and reopening everyone's Snapchat stories ;}

I guess this is as good a blog intro as any, so until next time...

Carpe Diem,
Marian

P.S- Just incase you were wondering why i sign off with "Carpe Diem", it's a Latin aphorism that means "Seize the day", and just something I like to tell myself to inspire me to not waste time. I wanna try to start doing at least one productive thing a day, because each day only comes around once ya know?